Talk With Me

Have you ever been in a situation with a high conflict co-parent that you don't get along with? Well, sit down and grab a snack because this is a long read.. First off, it's more common than you think and you are not alone. There is this idea that you "can't be the better mother", but in reality, you shouldn't have to be. You should simply be able to love your stepchildren as your own and reassure them they are safe. Sometimes, stepmothers have to step up because biological mother isn't around or helping out as much. Based on my experience, I became a full-time step-parent after a short time of dating my partner.  I was going into all of it blindsided, and had no clue what to expect. I did the best I could, it was hard, it was challenging at times, there were days I wanted to give up, but I knew this child needed me and I knew I needed to be a good role model so I stayed, learned and I toughed it out.

In a high-conflict dynamic,  there may be attempts to make fun of you, attack your reputation, and make you feel like you're nothing. You might even have it thrown in your face that you have "no rights" to the child, even though you pour your heart, soul, and so much time into the stepmother role. What do you do when that happens? You ignore it and be the better person, don't give in because that is exactly the reaction they want. The reality is you're winning, and they don't like it.  Often, when people are difficult like that, it's because they are used to getting their own way. 

There is so much I would like to say, but what good would that do but cause more problems. I have dealt with unnecessary chaos even in my most vulnerable moments- like when I had just given birth and should have been focusing on my new baby. It's bold, right?  it's clear when someone isn't thinking about anyone other than getting their own way. That is who they are and what they do. Just know you're already better because you are not that way. I genuinely care about others, and I will always treat others with kindness and respect-regardless of what is thrown at me.